Pope Francis Goes Public With Support Of RFID Chip Implantation

  

In a controversial move by the Catholic church, Pope Francis has come out in vocal support of RFID Chip technologies and the extraordinary potential they hold for mankind.
The outrage stems from a belief held by many Evangelicals, Fundamentalists and Catholics, that RFID implants are the Mark Of The Beast, spoken about in their Holy Book’s chapter regarding the end of the world. During the Pontiff’s weekly general address, he spoke to the crowd about his view on the RFID technology, and assured his many followers that no spiritual harm can come from receiving an RFID implant.

“We have examined the scriptures thoroughly, and I can conclusively say that there’s nothing to indicate that RFID Chips are Satanic in anyway. If anything, these devices are a blessing from God himself, bestowed upon humanity to solve many of the world’s ills.” He went onto urge his devotees to be open minded in this era where brilliant new technological advancements are being made everyday.

The Bishop of Rome explained to those in attendance his excitement over making RFID implantation a mandatory procedure for all employees and residents of the Vatican. Last month, NBC predicted that by 2017, every American will own a RFID implant. Not surprising, considering humanities ever increasing reliance on technology. With the advent of products like Google Glass, the merging of Man and Machine inches closer each day. Widespread implantation of the RFID chip would be an enormous and historic leap into that glorious, utopian future. Late last year the citizens of Hanna, Wyoming helped to beta test RFID implantation. Everyone residing in the small town carries an RFID device between the skin of their thumb and forefinger, using it both as an ID and a method for paying for goods and services.

 

Towns members state that the opinion of the RFID is overwhelmingly positive, and are proud to be the first Americans to have received the implant. Several aspects of modern society can be improved with the implementation of RFID technology. Crimes such as kidnapping and identity theft would cease to exist. In medical emergencies where the patient is incapacitated, doctors can find life saving information by scanning the individual’s RFID chip, and for those people who love shopping, you’ll never have to carry money that can be stolen, or debt cards that can be lost; Now your entire banking information is literally in the palm of you hand.

With the Pope’s endorsement and blessing, interest in RFID implantation is sure to see a wider acceptance from members of the church. This could, hopefully, be the push that this agenda needs to gain household recognition.