Julia Sysoev, a mother and widow, established a fund to
support the families of murdered priests—something
she dreamed of along with her late husband Father Daniel
Sysoev. Her fund operates as part of the Missionary Center
named after her late husband.
—How
was the idea to create a charitable foundation
born?
—The idea was born long ago, whileFather
Daniel was still alive. Originally, the idea was to
establish a fund to help the families of
priests. There are funds to help wide varieties of
people: The disabled, orphans, the sick. However, there
are no funds dedicated to helping widowed wives,
mothers and struggling families of priests. And I
shared my idea with Father Daniel, who answered,
"You came up with the idea—now implement
it."
—Did you create the fund after learning about a
particular tragedy, or was it an abstract idea?
—I once came across an internet posting about a
mother who was left a widow with five children in her
arms, one of whom was ill with acute leukemia. The
situation shocked me. People spread the word and raised
money—but on their own, without any particular
organization. And then I thought that would be good to
create a fund that could help organize assistance for
these families.
But the business of everyday life did not allow me to turn
this idea into reality. Sad as it is, the impetus for the
implementation of this idea became the death of Father
Daniel. That's when I realized it is impossible not
to do this.
—Was it hard at first?
—The most difficult thing was to make myself to it.
For example, Daniel had a great desire and tremendous
energy energy. He continually burned with zeal for his
work. Most of us become buried in the business of everyday
life… and sometimes become cold or lazy towards
even the more burning of initial desires. I am a passive
person by nature. I usually need a push, while Daniel was
able to work without any such external motivations. But
the main thing is to to make ourselves start. There are of
course many subsequent problems, but all are overcome with
God's help. I view them as challenges. There is a
problem—how will I solve it?
—What does the Fund look like today?
—Our center has three main directions: Missionary
work, publication and philanthropy.
Missionary work includes missionary training and an
education program. We print materials and distribute them
to churches and parishes. This is important—people
read, fill gaps in their knowledge, and strengthen their
faith.
Missionary training was Father Daniel’s idea. We
accept applications from Orthodox Christians who know the
catechism and want to become missionaries.
Publishing is a self-sustaining project. Basically, it is
also the legacy of Father Daniel—not all articles
have been published yet. Now we are preparing to publish
memoirs about Father Daniel’s life, including a
collection of testimonies and recollections of eighty
people who knew him. My contribution was two large parts
about my relationship with him. The book is almost
ready—we’re working on the layout. We hope,
with God's help, it will be released soon. Incidentally, a
portion of the proceeds from the publishing house will go
to families who we are helping. Donations are not always
enough, so revenue from publishing is a big help for us.
The Church of the Apostle Thomas, Moscow. |
—Do
you have plans to expand?
—There are thoughts on the organization of
missionary pilgrimages to holy places, which do not
typically cater to pilgrims. This, incidentally, was also
the idea of Father Daniel. After all, most
pilgrimages follow standard routes. And we want to come up
with something special, unusual, because a lot of places
and churches are “off the beaten path,” are
forgotten save but to a few people. But I do not know how
soon we will carry out this idea: We only have about 20
full-time employees, and unfortunately have no volunteers.
—And how many of these 20 employees oversee the
Charity?
—When the fund was established, we immediately
started to support the initial group of families. First,
there were six families, today there are about forty. And
our charity totalled three people: Myself, my assistant,
Matushka Lydia, and our Director Sergei, who in addition
to charity is also involved in other directions. But
mostly we find out through Matushka Lydia who has what
need: Perhaps someone needs to repair a roof, another to
send a child to summer camp, yet another needs medical
treatment. We work mainly through Skype, are on the phone
all the time—as these families are scattered in
different regions of Russia. But if the opportunity
presents itself, we make sure to visit. Thus, we
communicate remotely, but personally with everyone. The
easiest way, of course, is to transfer some
money—but as much as possible, we try to help by
solving the problem itself.
—Do you find those who need help by
yourselves?
—There are times when we ourselves find families who
need help, sometimes, others tell us. In any case, we
connect directly with the family and check the accuracy of
the information. Because, unfortunately, sometimes crooks
try to access the fund for their own selfish
purposes… in fact, even extort money, under the
guise of the widows of priests who beg for an operation or
repair. But this is usually quickly revealed. It often
suffices to mention to them that we first need to call the
diocese, or priest—and such people just fade away.
—And you are not accused of trying to “cash
in” yourselves?
—Sometimes we are asked whether those are real people on
our website, sometimes people doubt it, but we are ready
to provide any information to donors and report results.
We do come across very different people. Most donors and
good, gracious people who genuinely want to help—but
we also get those who are not, who might call us out of
the blue with accusations. To our question: "Why do
you think so?" sometimes they might answer: "I
can not get through to such and such a widow. The
telephone number is fake, this widow does not exist, you
are cheaters." And the fact that such a widow might
not immediately hear the call and pick up the phone within
five minutes does not occur to them. Or we get donors who
call us a few times a day, asking if we’ve sent
their $100. And every time we'll explain we must first
accumulate a certain amount, and then send it. For such
things the key is to react calmly.
—Are most of the donations amounts made up of
smaller, more modest donations—or are there cases
when someone donates the whole sum at once?
—All donate as much as they see fit. But as you
know, it’s usually in small increments... It is
clear that when a pensioner sends 200 rubles—it is a
big part of their pension. Wealthier people donate more
significant sums. We have in the fund a donor who
sometimes donates very significant sums of money—but
does so on the condition of anonymity, except for asking
widows to remember him in their prayers.
—Do people donate with a specific widow in mind,
or do they simply donate to your fund, for your dispersal
as you see fit?
—If someone wants to help a specific family, we
carry out this wish. Others donated to our fund in
general, which we distrubute at our discretion to whoever
is most urgently in need. We first cover urgent needs.
Recently, a widow’s roof collapsed and needed urgent
repairs. Of course, first we deliver money to these types
of cases, and only then will send kids to summer camp.
Some things can wait, others not. Indeed, 90 percent of
our beneficiaries are widows. They need help the most.
Because when a family loses a breadwinner, to
survive—especially with children—becomes very
difficult. So they are glad for any help. The only thing
we do not accept are used articles—we do not work
with the homeless. But new things we take, especially
children’s clothes.
—Do you get assistance from the Diocese or the
Government?
—The government pays a death benefit
pension—3,800 rubles per person. At this, their
assistance ends. Maybe some offer a travel tour to rest.
And with the diocese, it depends on how lucky you are.
Each dioceses and Bishop is different and offer different
help. I know that one Bishop helped solve the housing
problem of a deceased priest’s family. There are
times, though, when widows are left with nothing. But we
have no right to criticize or judge others. It is not our
business. We are responsible for our own affairs, not for
the affairs of others. In any case, often even if you get
some assistance it does not cover enough.
—Do you go beyond helping with the pressing
problems of widows?
—Of course, to help in acute needs is very
important, but sometimes you just want to make people
happy in other ways, to do for them what a widow with
children can not typically afford. For example, to
organize a vacation by the sea—for many of our
families this is unimaginable luxury. Therefore, we are
organizing such vacations in Anapa for the second year
now. Last year, we sent nine widows with children to the
ocean, and this year just as many. We sent two widows to
Cyprus this year at the invitation of the monastery in
Kikos. We hope that Cyprus will continue this project with
us. We pay for travel, and the monastery donates
accomodation. In general, we want to organize more such
trips.
—Do you provide widows with material help, or
also try to provide moral support?
—Of course! We deal with all of the widows
personally. Our conversations with them of course have
different natures. There are widows for whom it is very
difficult survive the tragedy of their husband’s
death, and seem to permanently reside in their grief. They
usually try to avoid contact, so with them it is very
difficult. But mostly widows are very friendly, lovely
women, in spite of such tragedy.
Some of their husbands passed away from disease, some were
killed in accidents, some were murdered. For example, in
Podolsk, Father Alexander Filippov was shot in the
stairwell of his apartment. Father Anatoly Sorokin was
shot near his church. In 2005, Father Vladimir Ivusov was
killed during a robbery, and at the same time Father
Eugene Adigamov was brutally murdered. But we do not
differentiate the causes: in all cases, it is a tragedy.
—And how do you help to survive this tragedy?
—Everything depends on the person. We don’t
force our way into their hearts. If a person does not want
to talk about their distress, we don’t pry. Others,
on the other hand, long to share, and those cases we try
to offer words of comfort. But most work to adapt quickly
and regain their composure. Most don’t necessarily
need words of comfort—just normal, adequate
assistance. If one were to look at many of these widows
from the outside, it might seem that they are just going
about living a normal life: going about their business.
The myth of widows as constantly weeping,
grieving women dressed in gray and black robes exactly
that—a myth. I myself have experienced these
unpleasant moments, when people talked with me not as with
normal person, but as with a patient. When they learn that
you are a widow, for some reason their tone of voice
changes. I was often put off by this. There is no need to
weep for me—please talk to me like a normal person.
I learned to avoid these ‘overly pitying
people.’ I think other widows deal with similar
issues.
—What was most difficult for you after the loss
of your spouse?
—It's probably as it is with all the newly widowed:
most difficult is learning to live again without him. Life
is divided into “before” and
“after”—into different eras. But it is
necessary to begin a new life, not to pull the load of
continuous, depressing memories and resentments. This
period of transition between one state and another was the
most difficult. But from the first day I saw that the Lord
intervenes in all situations, arranging the necessary
route. The Lord leads me. This gives us strength.
—Do you think that Father Daniel pictured just
such as Fund as yours?
—In life, he could not imagine that our idea of
aid to families of the priests would result
in a whole center devoted to publishing, and a missionary
center—which, incidentally, Father Daniel tried to
create during his lifetime, but it did not happen. After
his death, this idea took flesh. His other works also to
live on. I devoted myself to the fund, his parishoners
continue his missionary work, his other friends finished
building the church, the construction of which Father
Daniel started. This is God's Providence. Father Daniel,
being there in heaven, continuing to help us here. We are
convinced that everything is done with his help and his
blessing. Therefore, we always pray and serve a memorial
service at the Father Daniel’s grave before taking
important steps. As for me, the Fund has become a matter
of life. I now have two issues in my life: There are my
children who must be raised, and there is a fund that must
continue to grow.
For details on how you can join the work of the
foundation, and information on how to make a
donation—click here (in
Russian).
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